I'm Simon Haynes, programmer and author. Welcome to my website.

I'm a frequent Twitter user, and I have a Facebook author page. Feel free to drop by and say hello.

I'm lucky enough to have been published in five countries (soon to be six), and you'll find my work on all the major book-selling sites.



The Hal Spacejock Multiple Choice Test
Are you a solid gold nut?

Spend as long as you like pondering each question, then tick your preferred answer. If you want some background info before attempting the quiz, check this page. To come back, click 'Fun and Games' in the menu bar.

On the other hand, you can make like Hal and wing it... and remember, you can always hit the 'Back' button and try another set of answers.

1 Hal Spacejock is...

1. A really advanced scottish computer
2. A really silly name
3. A really bad freelance pilot
4. A really good looking lantern-jawed hero
 
2 Take another look at question 1. Which of the answers did Hal Spacejock supply?

Answer number 4
None - there are no spelling mistakes.
 
3 Word association. When I say 'Clunk!', you say...

1. Click!
2. Humanoid robot model designation XG99.
3. The real brains of the outfit.
4. What's that burning electrical smell?
5. White and one please.
 
4 Describe the Secret Hal Spacejock Handshake:

1. Extend hand, grip firmly, squeeze like hell.
2. With stiffened fingers, drive hand into other person's solar plexus.
3. Get out of here, I'm not touching that!
 
5 When asked to navigate his ship to the Horsehead Nebula, Hal Spacejock says...

1. Let's saddle up and ride this baby out of here!
2. How much are you paying?
3. Take the controls, Clunk.
4. All of the above.
5. None of the above. He's still reading the owner's handbook.
 
6 Hal Spacejock has been challenged to a duel. Which of the following is he most likely to choose for deadly combat:

1. Flintlock pistols at three hundred paces.
2. A light sabre with long-life battery.
3. Clunk.
4. A really fast pair of shoes.
 
7 Now that Hal Spacejock is out you will:

1. Celebrate wildly and buy a copy.
2. Celebrate wildly and buy copies for friends and family.
3. Celebrate wildly and wait for the library to buy a copy.
4. Write a letter to the newspaper bemoaning the sad state of literature in the 21st century.
 
8 Picking through your collection of junk which might one day prove useful, you discover an early edition of Hal Spacejock. Do you:

1. Quickly throw it away.
2. Put this MINT R@RE item on eBay.
3. Threaten to put this MINT R@RE item on eBay unless a large sum of money changes hands.
4. Post a line-by-line comparison on your blog.
5. Tell everyone that in YOUR copy Hal Spacejock fired first.
 
9 Finally, this one just came in from an anonymous spaceship pilot. Which of the following applies to Hal Spacejock?

1. Highly intelligent, popular, wealthy and single.

 
Happy with your answers? Click to continue.