Simon's Simple Recipes

I've also written a large number of articles on writing and publishing.

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I'm lucky enough to work full-time from home, both as an author and as a computer programmer, but that often means cooking for the family. While putting good nutritious meals on the table is important, I don't have time for three-hour multi-course extravaganzas.

So, over the years I've developed some easy recipes which take very little work, but are enjoyed a great deal by my family. And I thought ... why not share?

If you enjoyed this article, don't keep it secret!

Beginners Tip. If you're not a confident cook, or don't even know the first thing about cooking and have to learn fast, I suggest two purchases: An electric rice cooker and a crock pot (aka slow cooker).

I know there are endless kitchen gadgets and gizmos, but these two really are useful. The rice cooker is simple ... you just throw in a cup of rice and three cups of water, press the button, and when it goes off you have a perfect side dish. It's impossible to burn it because rice cookers switch over to 'keep warm' mode when they're done, and if you get one with a steamer basket you can even put your chinese veggies in the top for 10-15 minutes at the end of the cooking time.

The crock pot or slow cooker allows you to put together stews, curries, soups and more, and because it cooks over a long period of time it'll turn the toughest piece of meat into melt-in-your-mouth flakes. Like the rice cooker, it's very hard to burn anything in the crock pot.

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BREAKFAST

Microwave Porridge Very quick breakfast, and healthy too.

(Adjust the following quantities to taste & to get the desired portion.)

1/2 - 1 cup quick oats (NOT the one-minute powder variety)
1/2 - 1 cup boiling water
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon sugar (optional)

Tip the oats into a microwave-safe bowl and add boiling water until they're just moist, but not swimming in it. Then tip in most of the milk. Microwave on high for around two minutes (I use 2m30s)

Remove from the microwave and pour the rest of the (cold) milk on top. Sprinkle with sugar. You can put the (hot) bowl on a side plate to protect your fingers.

I sometimes make porridge for four - just increase the quantities and microwave a bit longer.

When cooking porridge you don't want a sloppy, undercooked mess and you don't want to turn out bowl-shaped bricks either. The ideal consistency is somewhere in between. (You'll know if it's undercooked because the oats taste a bit dusty.)

Toast

Yes, really. There's a knack to good toast, and I've posted about it on my blog

You might also like to see the post about a piece of Happy Toast.

MAIN MEALS

I've not written any of my recipes down before (I just make things on the fly), so I'll keep adding more as I get the time. For now, here are a few to get you going.(And just as a bonus, my mum has chipped in with some of the wonderful recipes I was brought up on!)

Coming soon: wraps (turkish bread, various kinds), tacos, garlic prawns, chicken drumsticks (various), stuffed capsicum, chicken casserole, kebabs (skewers), goulash and meat pie.

Shepherd's Pie aka Cottage Pie (using sliced potato)

Apparently it's shepherd's pie with lamb and cottage pie with beef. Use either!

500gm good mince - I use heart smart
1 medium onion
Two small/one medium zuccini (marrow) chopped up.
Two or three carrots peeled and chopped into 2cm pieces.
Three medium potatoes, peeled

Ingredients are flexible! Try substitutes like green beans, chopped celery, eggplant, peas, etc.

Heat oil in a frying pan
Add in the zuccini, carrot and onion
Sprinkle with a dash of salt and pepper
Optional flavouring: Add a pinch of saffron and a garlic clove, sliced.
Give the veggies 5-10 minutes on high, stirring to prevent sticking and burning. A little browning is good.
Tip the lot into a casserole dish.

Now brown the mince. I like to cook mince on a hot stove, turning and chopping it with the spatula so I get coarse lumps. I never add liquid at this stage, because that just makes slurry.
Thinly slice the potatoes - about 1/2cm each (1/4 inch)
Tip the mince into the casserole dish and mix with the veggies.
Add a cup or two of hot water.

Now push slices of raw potato down the sides, then layer the rest on top.
Sprinkle with parmesan (or plain cheese, if you prefer.)

It should look something like this before you put it in the oven.

Cover with lid or tinfoil and bake for around 1 hour. I use 180 C
Remove the lid/tinfoil and let the top brown for 20-30 mins on 160 C
Serve.

(Microwave some peas or beans for a side dish)

Shepherds Pie aka Cottage Pie (Using mashed potato)

As above, but put the potatoes on to boil before you start.
Mash the potatoes after the mince is cooked, and spread them on top.
Instead of cheese you can brush the mash with milk before cooking.

Home made beefburgers

1 egg, 1 small onion, 500gm low fat mince
Dash of salt and pepper
Optional: slice of toasted bread, cubed and crumbed
Chop the onion really finely.

Mix everything together in a bowl, using your hand to squeeze and mix the ingredients (You can get disposable gloves if this doesn't appeal.)

Shape into 4 large balls
Place in hot, oiled pan and press flat (about 2-3cm thick) with spatula
Cook each side until they're done all the way through.
Serve on buttered multigrain toast with a large helping of chopped lettuce and tomato.

Notes

Very nice with French mustard.
Can also fry some onion rings with the burgers.

Home made meatballs

Follow the hamburger recipe, but form the mix into a couple of dozen small meatballs.

Cook in a frying pan, turning often.

Place meatballs in an oven pan and tip a jar of pasta or other tomato sauce over them. (e.g. Bertolli, Dolmio) Roasted garlic and tomato sauce is nice.
Bake for 20-30 mins
Serve on bed of rice (brown is wonderful for this.)

Fish & potato patties

Ingredients:

1/2 kg hake or some other cheapo fish (I often use leftovers. Grilled fish one night, patties the next.)
You must use fish with NO bones in it
4-6 medium potatoes
3-4 slices of bread
1 cup frozen peas & sweetcorn
A food processor. (The kind with razor-sharp whirling blades, not a blender)

Peel & boil the potatoes until tender. These take longest, so you can get them on the stove before moving on to the next bit.

If using uncooked fish (not leftovers), you want to poach it in a frying pan. Just put 1-2cm (1/2-3/4 inch) of water in the pan, bring to a gentle boil and simmer the fish. You don't want browned, fried fish, just soft & tender.
If using leftover fish, move to the next stage.

While the fish & potatoes are cooking, put the bread in the toaster. (I use the bits from the ends of the loaves) Set to low, and do it two or three times to really dry it out. You don't want dark brown toast, so you can let it cool between toastings. When it's ready, throw the toast into the food processor and turn it into coarse breadcrumbs. Then tip the breadcrumbs out of the processor into a large tray or dish. I know you can buy breadcrumbs, but these are fresh and coarse rather than super-fine and stale.

Rinse the cooked potatoes in cold water, then put the potatoes and fish in the food processor. Don't overfill it - I usually have to do this in two halves. (Remember, you've already taken the breadcrumbs out at this stage!)

Blend until smooth, then empty into a large mixing bowl. Microwave a cup of frozen peas and corn for two minutes, then add to the bowl and stir with a fork to mix it all up.

Place the ball in a baking tray and press it down (gently) into a flattened disk. Repeat until you've turned all the mix in the bowl into patties.

Now sprinkle the patties generously with olive oil, and put in a (preheated) oven at 180 deg C for about 15 mins. (All the ingredients are cooked, so you're only browning the outside.) By this stage they should be golden brown with the oil sizzling in the pan, rather than collapsed and grey-ish. If they're not brown, give them another 10-15 minutes (and maybe turn the oven up a little.)

Once they're browned on top, turn the patties over with a spatula (carefully), and give them another 15 minutes or so on the second side.

Serve with steamed chinese veggies, a dollop of mayonnaise, and bread & butter. Kids will devour them, and they'll taste 100% better than shop-bought varieties. It's also much healthier than fish & chips, and you can feed four people for about $6 or $7.

Five minute "Nachos"

Okay, they're not really Nachos but they taste great and it's a really quick lunch or snack.

1 bag plain corn chips (salted or unsalted to taste)
1 tin baked beans (I use salt-reduced)
Grated cheese
Something healthy to have with it - a tomato, a stick of celery, green salad, etc.

Microwave the baked beans in a dish for 2-3 mins. Spread corn chips over plates 2-3 deep. Pour baked beans into the middle of the corn chips, spreading outwards. Sprinkle the hot baked beans with grated cheese and put the healthy salad stuff on the plate alongside to salve your conscience.

This will do 4 people, but you might need 2 cans of baked beans if they're hungry.

Super-quick tomatoes on toast

A very quick and easy lunch for one. Or two. Or many.

Tomatoes - one or two per person, depending on size. (Of the person AND the tomatoes.)

Olive oil
Salt, ground pepper
Dried or fresh basil

Instructions:

Sling some bread in the toaster.

Chop the tomatoes into quarters and remove the hard green bit.

Drop them into a coffee mug, add a tablespoon of olive oil, a pinch of salt, a dash of pepper and sprinkle with basil.

Microwave for a couple of minutes or so.

Using a fork, mash the cooked tomato in the cup.

Put the toast on a plate, and spoon the tomato mess all over it.

Optional ... sprinkle with grated cheese.

Pasta & Tuna salad

'Salad' is probably a misnomer, but it's a very quick lunch all the same.

Pasta (any of the short kinds - penne, twists, etc.)

1 Onion
1 or 2 capsicum
Large can of tuna

While the pasta is cooking, finely chop the onion and capsicum.
When the pasta is done, turn the heat off, drain the pasta and return it to the saucepan.
Stir in the onion (raw), capsicum (raw) and can of tuna.
Serve.

(Since the onion is raw, you can add as much or as little as you like, to taste. Chopped raw onion freezes well in ziplock sandwich bags - use defrosted in cooked dishes.)

You can vary the amount of tuna and capsicum too.

Chilli Beans - sent by a friend, approved by my kids *

Heat some oil and add a teaspoon each of cumin, coriander, chilli flakes and freshly crushed garlic. Don't burn, just heat it a little.
Drain and rinse one or two tins of kidney beans, and add to the pan. Stir well to coat in the oil.
Crumble a stock cube into one of the empty tins, and fill with water. Add to the pan, carefully, and then add a second tin of water. (When I say carefully, you do NOT want to pour cold water into a pan of smoking hot oil. Adding the beans should have taken the sting out of it, but if in doubt turn the heat right down and let it cool a little first.)
Simmer until beans are soft and liquid is mostly gone. You don't want the beans all split open and mushy, so keep an eye on them.

You can serve these chilli beans with salad and tortillas, although I served them with fried Spanish Chorizo sausage and a side dish of ratatouille (elsewhere on this page.)

* Voted the most deliciousest beans ever by my eldest.

ALBONDIGAS (Pork balls) - Cooked in microwave for a quick meal

300-400 gr. Minced pork
Sauce:
6 tablespoons minced parsley
Tin tomatoes
2 cloves minced garlic
Dash of soy sauce
1 tablespoon minced onion
2 slices bread
2 tablespoons Milk (or water)
1 egg, beaten
Salt and pepper

Cut crusts off bread, put slice on plate and add milk (or water).

Put all other ingredients in bowl, add soft bread, mix well.

Make small balls, bit smaller than golf ball, and put 12 round edge of plate.
Microwave for 3 mins on high.
While cooking, make another 12 on another plate so you can put those in when 1st lot are done. Carry on until all done.

Put tomatoes and dash of soy in saucepan and heat.
Drop in pork balls, and heat through for 5 mins.
Serve on rice, with green salad or green beans/peas.

Cabbage with mustard seed (Side dish, good with any of the above.)

Chop cabbage into long strips 1cm wide
Use a steamer saucepan OR a large pan of water
Sprinkle with 1-2 level teaspoons of mustard seed and a dash of salt.
Boil 5-6 minutes until JUST softened.
Remove from heat and drain immediately.

Notes
Many people only hate cabbage because they've never had it cooked properly.
Do NOT overcook. Better slightly raw than yellow, transparent and mushy.

POTATO PANCAKES

2 large potatoes, grated
1 medium carrot, grated
1 small onion, chopped
1 egg, beaten
2 tablespoons oil

Mix potatoes, carrots, onion & eggs together.
Heat oil in a pan,and put spoonfuls of mixture in the pan. Cook over low heat for 10 mins or until the underside is brown. Turn over and cook for another 10 min.

Can also use corn, grated zucchini or chopped broccoli.

STOOP (Thick vegetable stew/soup)

This is a family favourite my mum has been making for years, and it's especially good on a cold winter's day. Dunk crusty bread to really soak up the juices.

2 cups dried chick peas - soak in hot water 1 hour, or cold 5 hours (Tinned just aren't the same)
2 onions
4 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp olive oil
Pinch mixed herbs
2 carrots, diced
3 potatoes, diced
Large tin tomatoes
2 Chicken stock cubes
1 litre of water
Salt and ground pepper
1 Tbsp sweet chilli sauce (optional)

Fry onion, garlic & herbs in oil for few minutes, add carrots, potatoes, chick peas.
Chop up tomatoes in tin, add those, crumble stock cubes, add those and water, then sweet chilli sauce and seasoning. Stir to mix.

I use a pressure cooker for this, so it takes 10 minutes. Otherwise simmer on the stove for probably an hour (check chick peas are soft).

RATATOUILLE

2 onions
10 cloves garlic
3 tbsp. Olive oil
3 tomatoes, skinned and chopped
Large tin tomatoes
2 courgettes, 2 red/green peppers, 1 aubergine, 1 potato, 2 carrots (or you can mix other vegetables in, like green beans, etc)
1 chicken stock cube
Half litre water
Seasoning

Fry onions and garlic in oil gently for few minutes.
Add tomatoes, and tin of tomatoes.
Then add all vegetables, chopped into small pieces.
Add crumbled stock cube in water and seasoning.
Simmer gently for about three quarters of an hour.

I normally make a lot and freeze in portions - good with BBQs.

QUICK DAHL

450 gr. Lentils
1 onion (chopped)
600 ml water
knob of butter or ghee
salt

Rinse lentils well, boil water, add lentils, onion and salt, simmer 20 mins.

2 teasp each of: garlic (jar), cumin or coriander, garam masala
1 teasp of turmeric

Add spices to mix, simmer 10 mins, stir in butter. Mash up slightly.

Spanish Paella (Alicantino) (Sorry, did I say 'simple recipes'?)

There is no One True Way when it comes to the Spanish national dish ... Paella. Every region uses its own ingredients and the results are wildly different. Because I grew up in the Alicante area, my family used to make this version ... more or less.

The important thing to note with a paella is that it's not just a recipe, it's also entertainment. Cooked in a specialist paella pan, and taking maybe an hour from start to finish (plus 2-3 hours preparation time!), guests will wander past to see how it's doing and - in the case of other paella aficionados - offer advice. Note that preparation is the key, and you really want to practice with smaller sizes before inviting forty people round.

Paella pans come in various sizes, from tiny to several metres across. You can also buy a dedicated gas ring, but if your pan fits onto the grilling area of your BBQ you can make do with that. Note that authentic pans are not non-stick, they're not deep and they don't look like any other cooking pan. I just did a quick web search and this and this are exactly what you're looking for. You need the thin dimpled base to get the brown crust right.

So, that's the pan and heating out of the way. What about the ingredients?

Quantities vary depending on the size of the pan. An average sized pan (say, 50cm) needs 1 to 1.5 kg of rice, and enough of all the other ingredients to fill the pan. It doesn't matter how much you use of each ingredient - that's why every paella is different. If your guests are just going to pig out on paella, allow enough for several helpings. Salad and crusty bread make a good side dish.

The ingredients below are what I use for 10-12 people.

Meat & seafood
Large prawns (1/2 kg)
Chicken pieces (1/2 kg) (For smaller paellas I use chicken breast in large chunks. For bigger paellas, pieces of chicken with bones in.)
Squid Tubes (1/4 kg) (cut into rings - NOT crumbed!)
Mussels (in shells) (1/2 kg)

Vegetables
1 cup frozen peas
1 red & 1 green capsicum cut into strips
1 to 2 kg Arborio Rice - or medium grain at a pinch. (Do NOT use long grain, brown, jasmine or basmati!)
1 cup frozen green beans (Fresh runner beans are better. Whole.)
1 tin chick-peas (Dried ones, soaked, are better.)
2 or 3 Tomatoes

Flavourings
For the stock (This is made beforehand.)
1 Onion, chopped
Level teaspoon of Spanish paprika
Salt & Pepper

For the Paella:
A pinch of saffron
Fake saffron colouring
1/2 cup white wine
2 - 3 cloves garlic
1 or 2 tblspn tomato paste

Other
1 cup olive oil
Stock (see below)
Lemons cut into wedges

Preparation
In a large saucepan on the stove, boil the mussels & keep the juice. Boil some endy fatty trimmings of chicken with the chopped onion, plus salt & pepper, in 2 litres of water. Throw in the paprika as well. Then combine with the mussel juice. This is your paella stock, and it should be prepared an hour or so before you need it. (You want the stock simmering on the stove when you've started cooking the paella itself.)

Also, boil up a full kettle of water in case you need it to add to the rice. If you don’t need it you can use it for coffee later.

The main event
Heat half a cup of olive oil in the paella pan, ensuring it's level. (Wily paella cooks will have got it level with a cup of water in the pan beforehand.) Fry the prawns with the chopped garlic then remove from the pan and set aside. (Optional - you can boil the prawns in salty water on the stove and skip right to the next step.) Add oil and fry the chicken pieces until brown, then add the green vegetables EXCEPT THE BEANS & keep stirring.
Once the vegies have softened, stir in the rice to coat with oil, then add all the stock, which should be at boiling point.
Add the squid, the tomatoes and tomato paste. Stir for a bit.
Add the white wine (half a cup or so) and the chick peas and stir well. Add the saffron and stir again. Add more hot water until experience tells you there is enough. (Right to the brim, usually, because you always try to stuff more in the pan than you should.)
At this stage the pan should be bubbling, and the rice should start to expand. Throw in half a teaspoon of fake saffron colouring and stir. The rice should turn a deep yellow colour.

Simmer on low to medium heat WITHOUT STIRRING until almost all the liquid has gone (15-20 minutes). From here on in, you do not stir the paella. The trick is to cook it without burning the bottom, while still achieving the brown crust. Use your nose and ears to smell for burning - if you hear the noise change from a gentle bubble to a dryish crackling, the heat is too high. You can add hot water to stop it burning, but go easy.

Before the water has disappeared, press the green beans in. They will soak up the flavour without going mushy and overcooked.

When the water has just about gone, remove the pan from the heat, arrange prawns on the surface & press mussels point-down into the rice around the perimeter of the pan. If you do this right the remaining water will ooze into the shells. Cover with newspaper or tin foil and let stand for 10 minutes.

Serve with wedges of lemon & crusty bread.

If you get this one right - congrats! It's a very tricky dish to get right, but a good paella is a work of art.

Spanish Paella by Simon Haynes
A Spanish Paella - my most recent effort

Turkey Stuffing - Bread and bacon

I used this recipe last year and it was the first time I can remember where people ate ALL the stuffing!

4-6 slices bread
3 slices bacon
50gm butter
1 finely-chopped onion
3 tablespoons chopped parsley
Thyme and Rosemary
1 egg
100ml milk
Salt & pepper

I usually put the bread through the toaster a couple of times to dry it out - you want it dry, but not burnt. Fry the bacon in half the butter until crisp, then put it aside and soften the onion.

Now cut the bread into small cubes, put the rest of the butter in the pan and fry the cubes until golden.

Crumble the bacon in a bowl, add the onion, cubes and herbs, and mix.

Beat the egg, add the milk, then pour over the bacon/bread cube mix and stir it in. Add salt and pepper.

Now fill the cavity with the stuffing. Loose is better than really packed in.

Desserts

CHILLED LEMON FLAN (Zesty!) - No cooking required

For biscuit base:
4oz. Digestive biscuits, 2oz butter, 1 tbsp. Cocoa powder

For filling:
Qter pint double cream, 6oz can condensed milk, 2 large lemons.

No, this is not a lite or diet recipe!

Crush digestive biscuits with rolling pin (or in electric mixer).
Melt butter, add cocoa, then mix in biscuit crumbs.
Turn mixture into 7 inch pie plate and press into shape round base and sides of plate with back of a spoon.
Mix together cream, condensed milk and finely grated lemon rind in blender, slowly beat in lemon juice.

Pour mixture into the flan case and chill until firm.

TRUFFLES (aka Rum balls) - No cooking required.

2oz butter, 2oz castor sugar, few drops almond essence, 3oz ground almonds, 2 teaspoons cocoa, sieved, and 2 oz. Cake crumbs, sieved, rum or sherry.

Yes, real alcohol. Use flavouring instead if this is for kids. Although I don't think my mum ever did for us ;-)

For coating: chocolate vermicelli

Cream fat and sugar until soft and fluffy.
Add essence, almonds and cocoa and beat thoroughly.
Mix in sufficient cake crumbs to form a stiff paste, then add a few drops of rum or sherry to flavour.

Knead well and roll into a sausage shape.
Cut into equal sized pieces and roll each into a ball.

Roll each ball in chocolate vermicelli.

Notes:
I cook for 4 people. Adjust quantities as needed.
1cm = approx half an inch
500gm = approx 1 lb
pepper = freshly ground
oil = olive oil, which is all I ever cook with

Finally, a couple of tips for the inexperienced:

Approach cooking with confidence! The worst you can do is burn something, and that's not a problem if you have a tin of baked beans and some toast on standby.

Experiment! You're not building a spaceship, and there's a wide range of tolerances with all ingredients. More or less, it really doesn't matter.

Don't invite dozens of guests for your first attempt! Make something easy for lunch, and if it works you can have the leftovers for dinner.

Start with single dish meals. No need to juggle pans, and only one dish to keep an eye on.

About the author
Simon Haynes is the author of the Hal Spacejock series, and is also a founding member of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine. Simon also wrote all the software on spacejock.com, most of which can be downloaded for free.